This is a very serious post

pre·am·ble
/ˈprēˌamb(ə)l/

noun
noun: preamble; plural noun: preambles

a preliminary or preparatory statement; an introduction.
"what she said was by way of a preamble"

Law
the introductory part of a statute or deed, stating its purpose, aims, and justification.

Two years after Cats are Liquid - A Light in the Shadows was released,a question plagued the minds of millions, who's behind all those glitches? why green doesn't have a mouth and why must they scream? What's a felines are fluid? Today I am here to answer all of these questions that you mind can think of. But there's only one problem, this section needs to be a bit longer or else it feels out of place, the lack of insightful content would contrast a lot withthe more interesting jokes of the following sections, and we can't let this section be this short, this is why i'm repeating myself like a thousand times, who even repeats themselves so much anyway.

Cats are liquid - Zombies

Despite initial backlash after the introduction of the cat pass™, popular spinoff Cats are Liquid : Zombies has peaked in 2763 players shooting down the zombies type stuff, but it is with great sadness that we announce that the game will be closing in 4 seconds due to copyright infringiments with Popcap games game "Wordle". Other spin-off games such as Cats are Liquid Cat City and Cats are Liquid A Light in The Shadows will also be removed from the app stores because why not

BALANCE CHANGES

This next set of balance changes will be coming live next june, so plan accordingly if upgrading those weapons and characters will still be worth it after they're on the game.

Peashooter now inflicts 6 seconds of bleed
SMG reload time reduced from 3 seconds to 2.2 seconds
Fixed a bug where Red's active ability could leak your IP adress
Goblins (troop) HP reduced by 100% cause fuck hyperbait what is supercell even thinking
Yoshi neutral air will deals an extra 5%
It is no longer possible to drink Water to regenerate drowning induced damage
It is no longer possible to drink Water, #### you :)

Future updates for cats are liquid ABP

The brand new Cats are Liquid - A Better Place 1.16 Nethr update is coming packed with new features for your custom packs! Why don't we take a look at the more promising features?

Age verification

The newbrand new Cats are Liquid - A Better Place 1.4.4 Jouney End update will introduce a new age estimation feature. If the system detects an player as <19 year old, certain features like custom pack dialogue, friend requests, the cat feeling emotions , and the game ending will be limited. But don't worry! The advanced AI systems will automatically detect your age with great precision based on various gameplay metrics, including but not limited to: Weekly playtime, Birthday, The frequency at which you turn liquid, Birthsecond, Cat viscosity , Second birth, Amount of money spent on Cat Cash™ , IP adress, Geographical coordinates, your soul, information from the licensed Last Quarter Blood Tester ,etc...

But in the rare scenario our super advanced AI system gets wrong and your Last Quarter account™ gets wrongfully flagged as a minor, you have the option for an ID verification, your ID is not stored on our servers [specifically the safety-2015.6.12 servers] and be safely sent as a STRinG to ensure company safety